confess your secrets to me and i’ll tell you what you need to hear

  • Question of

    what do you search for?

    • an answer
    • a person
    • a place
    • a feeling that isn’t this one
    • just some rest
    • an escape
  • Question of

    what fear keeps you up at night?

    • how much will it hurt if i fail? can i survive the disappointment?
    • am i forgettable? will i be alone?
    • where are people like me supposed to go? do we even end up anywhere at all?
    • will i always feel like this? what is there left if i don’t?
    • what if i’m not who i think i am? what if i’m not what i’m supposed to be?
  • Question of

    what do you mourn?

    • my youth
    • a person
    • a piece of time
    • myself
    • a feeling
  • Question of

    where does it hurt?

    • all over
    • somewhere i can’t reach
    • it doesn’t
    • only where i press a thumb to the bruises
    • my bones
  • Question of

    which quote from sweatermuppet’s tumblr resonates with you?

    • plucks the sun from the sky & unwraps it like a chocolate coin & breaks it in half & gives u the bigger piece
    • you are not as damned as you think you are, you are not as damned as you think you are.
    • how many times has my mother mourned me? / how many times has she killed me in her head? / which river will she drag me from?
    • angel twirls his halo around his trigger finger & says “you’ll get through it, kid. trust me.”
    • u ever listen 2 oldies or read certain poems & think oh i would be such a great lover & then u think . but . i am deranged
  • Question of

    what do you do with what you feel?

    • i swallow it until it becomes something heavy
    • i pick at it until it bleeds into everything else
    • i turn it into jokes so nobody looks too closely
    • i let it burn quietly, like a coal i keep in my pocket
    • i use it as fuel. i have to move. i have to get out
    • i shut down. i go distant. i disappear
  • Question of

    forgiveness

    • i don’t deserve it
    • i will earn it
    • it’s the only way i will find peace
    • i don’t need it, i don’t want it
  • Question of

    will you forgive?

    • i want to but i can’t
    • i want to, i will try
    • they don’t deserve it
    • that’s god’s job
    • every time
    • i don’t know how to live if i don’t

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