you know that thing that creaks at 3:14 am? the shadow that’s never in the same place twice? yeah. it knows you. it’s been watching, muttering, mildly cheering you on. this quiz isn’t here to comfort

you. it’s here to identify your underbed companion – the one that claps when you lie, hums when you spiral, and holds grudges on your behalf. let’s find out what cursed entity has adopted you as its favorite little disaster.

  • Question of

    What do you hear when everything goes silent?

    • a pencil scratching something out. repeatedly
    • soft chewing. it’s definitely chewing
    • the sound of applause, but only once
    • the exact ringtone of a phone you’ve never owned
    • a whisper saying “not yet.”
  • Question of

    Pick a texture to never touch again

    • dusty velvet that seems damp
    • rusted metal with a heartbeat
    • warm jelly on a cold floor
    • paperwork that’s been soaked, dried, and… sobbed on?
    • skin, but not yours. not human
  • Question of

    A package arrives for you. what’s inside?

    • a note that just says good luck 🙂 in crayon
    • a mirror that shows someone else’s reflection
    • a single key wrapped in old homework
    • a tooth with your initials carved into it
    • a jar full of hair, warm to the touch
  • Question of

    Choose a crime to commit by accident

    • theft of emotional property – specifically someone’s secrets
    • eating something you weren’t supposed to know existed
    • entering a room you were never born to see
    • arson, probably, but also poetry
    • shoplifting out of spite but also confusion
  • Question of

    What was under your bed when you were a kid?

    • one sock that moved when you looked away
    • a box you didn’t put there
    • the feeling of being watched – fondly
    • you. you were under there. hiding from yourself
    • paper dolls with no faces
  • Question of

    What’s scratched into the wall of your childhood bedroom?

    • “don’t answer it” written backwards
    • tally marks. too many. some still fresh
    • a weirdly lifelike cat face that keeps changing expressions
    • a door, drawn in permanent marker, slightly ajar
    • a diagram you don’t remember drawing
  • Question of

    Pick a strange compliment

    • “if you disappeared, at least three archives would notice.”
    • “your energy could short-circuit a church.”
    • “i bet your thoughts taste like copper.”
    • “you look like someone who’d survive a reckoning.”
    • “you’re like a secret i wasn’t meant to keep.”
  • Question of

    What would you leave behind as a clue if you vanished?

    • an envelope full of loose glitter and fingerprints
    • a cup of something still warm, but wrong
    • a book with half the words blacked out
    • an old voicemail that skips and hisses
    • a trail of half-melted crayons
  • Question of

    Choose a bad decision to make twice

    • trusting someone just because they looked tired
    • telling the truth at the wrong moment
    • picking up an unmarked folder labeled “definitely not cursed”
    • following the raccoon just to see what happens
    • opening the door even after the knock pattern changed

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