All the quizzes that try to do this that are out in the world – they suck. They ask you what your favorite color is and give you Hades if it’s black. Embarrassing. I’m here to reach into your very sou

l and tell you that your mom cheated on your dad with a big fish man. Godspeed.

  • Question of

    Which descriptor is most accurate to how you were in elementary school?

    • Adept at making potions in the backyard
    • Friend group floater
    • People-pleaser
    • Try-hard
    • Snitch
    • Daydreamer
    • Third wheel
    • Class clown
    • Way too into Sonic the Hedgehog
    • Golden child
    • Gifted and talented program premium member
    • Horse girl
    • Bully
    • Youngest (and takes advantage of it)
  • Question of

    Now choose the term that best describes what you were like as a teenager:

    • Drama factory
    • Mom friend
    • Class clown
    • Loud rebellion
    • Quiet rebellion
    • Not-like-other-girls
    • Popular
    • People-pleaser
    • Mediator
    • Slacker (failing)
    • Slacker (high achieving)
    • Natural leader
  • Question of

    Remember avatar the last airbender on nickelodeon? Pick one of the four elements – go with your first instinct.

    • Air
    • Water
    • ROCKS MUD AND DIRT
    • Fire
  • Question of

    How do you want to be seen by others?

    • Approachable and caring
    • Needed
    • Free, completely unburdened
    • Independent and capable
    • Talented in a way that is Undeniable
    • Cool AND/OR funny
    • Mysterious – You don’t really want people to know what Your Deal is
    • Irreplaceable
  • Question of

    Pick a song from this specific genre of. Song.

    • Wonderwall – Oasis
    • Mr. Brightside – The Killers
    • If I Had You – Adam Lambert
    • The Middle – Jimmy Eat World
    • Sweater Weather – the Neighborhood
  • Question of

    Dream career:

    • Apothecary
    • Private Investigator
    • Journalist of Great Repute
    • Whatever comes to me
    • Landlord
    • Vigilante Hero
    • Barista
    • Esports champion
    • Lighthouse Keeper
    • TikTok Star
    • Life Coach
    • Vlogger
  • Question of

    What is your best trait?

    • Bravery
    • Capacity for love
    • Caring nature
    • Loyalty
    • Creativity
    • Fun to be around
    • Insight
    • Strength
    • Luck
    • Willpower and mental fortitude
    • You’re a hard worker
  • Question of

    What kind of animal do you seem to have a special affinity for (aka the point in this quiz where you can most easily influence your own result)

    • Bird
    • Deer
    • Dog
    • Horse
    • Lion/panther
    • Snake
    • Tortoise
    • I could not possibly care less about these animals

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