do i love, lust, or like him?

  • Question of

    when something really good happens to you, who do you want to tell first?

    • him. immediately. before anyone else.
    • my best friend, but i’d tell him eventually
    • honestly whoever’s closest, he doesn’t really factor in
    • i want to tell him but mostly so he sees me a certain way
  • Question of

    close your eyes and think about him. what comes up first?

    • his face when he’s talking about something he loves
    • honestly his body / the way he looks
    • a specific conversation we had that i keep replaying
    • kind of just a general vibe, nothing too specific
  • Question of

    you’re having the worst night. do you want him there?

    • yes. he’s the only person i want when things are actually bad.
    • i want someone there. him specifically? not really.
    • i’d want to text him but i wouldn’t want him to see me like that yet
    • maybe? i’m not sure he’d even know what to do
  • Question of

    how well do you actually know him? like really.

    • i know things about him he hasn’t said out loud. i’ve paid attention.
    • i know the surface stuff. i like what i know.
    • i don’t know that much and ngl i haven’t tried that hard to find out
    • i know enough to be interesting to him. that’s kind of the point.
  • Question of

    you noticed something about him that’s kind of annoying or disappointing. what happens?

    • it made him more real to me. i’m still here.
    • i caught myself making excuses for it. he’s still perfect in my head.
    • lowkey it cooled things down a little. i’m being honest.
    • i noticed but it doesn’t really affect how i feel about him physically
  • Question of

    you haven’t seen or talked to him in two weeks. what’s the feeling?

    • a quiet ache. not dramatic, just constant. i miss him specifically.
    • i’m fine but the moment he texts i’m immediately obsessed again
    • i think about him but life still happened normally
    • honestly more frustrated than sad. the attention stopped.
  • Question of

    would you still feel this strongly about him if he suddenly became unavailable taken, moved away, whatever?

    • yes. the feelings don’t care about logistics.
    • probably not. i think part of it is that he’s accessible.
    • if anything it would make me want him more. that’s concerning.
    • i’d be sad but i’d be okay. it’s not that deep.
  • Question of

    when you imagine your life six months from now, is he in it?

    • yes. i imagine things with him in them without meaning to.
    • i try to picture it and he doesn’t really appear
    • i think about it sometimes but it feels premature
    • i think about what could happen, not who i’d be with
  • Question of

    okay last one. when you think about him right now just sitting here what’s the word for it?

    • safe. or something close to that.
    • electric. like unfinished business.
    • warm. like a good feeling i’m not ready to label.
    • confusing. i can’t figure out if it’s real or i just want it to be.

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