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what is holding you back?

i apologize in advance for the amount of reading you’ll have to do. to compensate, i promise there are no lyric questions. just as a warning, some of the topics are heavy. please don’t take it Too Seriously and try to have fun!!

  • Question of

    kindness is ___

    • a survival trait
    • unattainable
    • inherent
    • a choice
    • in the faces of those i love
  • Question of

    snow melts into ___

    • water
    • spring
  • Question of

    what’s staring back at you when you look into the mirror?

    • someone i wish i was- i feel the way my head hangs low, the way my back twists after years of straining and sulking. but when i look in the mirror, all i see is a human. a human better than me. they can laugh and it seems so genuine. their hands seem so warm. they’ve lived so much. why am i always faking? can’t i attain that level of happiness if i try hard enough? please let me get there, someday. please
    • something unrecognizable- it’s there, but it’s not. fuzzy and distorted, i can’t make out the details. but i’ve stopped trying, since it’s different every day. i loathe the way the mirror taunts me, but i’m mostly afraid that one day i’ll wake up and i won’t see anything at all. at least i can be reassured that there’s something there. i need to hold onto it. i don’t want to let go. even as it morphs into horrendous shapes, i can’t let go.
    • myself- i’ve inhabited this form long enough to recognize these shapes. the flaws in my reflection have become a type of home. although it is sometimes bitter and unwelcoming, at the end of the day, i find it comforting. it always has been. i know it’s me. that’s all i really have.
    • someone i used to be- i know that inside of me, there’s a child with bright eyes and a loud smile, before the world taught me how to make them disappear. in my reflection, i see that glimmer, and it’s enough. i have to hold on. i can get it back again, right? i have to.
    • a mess- i see nothing, and everything. it exists and i accept it. there’s nothing i can do to get rid of it, so i just try to ignore it and go about my day. but, i know that’s a lie, crafted to convince myself and others that this isn’t a problem. can’t you see it too? it’s seeping out of the glass and onto my floors. it’s covering my room. it’s pouring from inside of me. help. help me
  • Question of

    there’s a creature. you reach out to pet it. will it run away?

    • yes, for now. i don’t know why it reacted that way. but, i know it’ll be back. that’s just the way it works. things always come back if you wait for them
    • yes, but i wish it wouldn’t. it’s always out of my reach. i’m chasing, endlessly, but i know it’ll always be out of my sight
    • yes, but i’m not upset. it has no other choice. it needs to protect itself
    • no, because i don’t want it to. i need it by my side. i won’t ever let it leave, i think that would destroy me
  • Question of

    are you scared you will always be this way?

    • Yes
    • No
    • what way?
    • no, but i’m scared i won’t always be this way
    • i don’t even know what “way” i am right now

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Written by uzair333

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